The night before this talk, I was telling stories at the Victoria Storytellers Guild. The sit itself was small — a handful of people I've been sitting and living with for years. My favorite kind.
What came up was friendship.
The Buddha gave a teaching to the Kalamas — a group of people who kept having different teachers come through their town, each with contradictory methods and claims. How do you discern a good teacher? The Buddha's answer: watch them. Be with them long enough. Who they are will reveal itself. Is what they're saying consistent with what they're actually doing?
This is one of the reasons I love a small sit with people I've practiced alongside for years. We've seen things together — births, deaths, marriages, the full range of what a life is. You learn who someone is not by swapping stories but by watching how they behave when they're really up against it. Sesshin teaches you that.
Ananda once said to the Buddha that good friends are half the spiritual life. The Buddha corrected him: "That's a foolish answer, Ananda. Good friends are the entirety."
This talk is about what it actually means to be a friend in practice — not just a fellow attendee, but a companion on the way. And what it costs to keep showing up as one, especially when the world outside is hard and the currents are strong.
The Living Zen Podcast arises from my teaching work with Zenwest Buddhist Society, a Zen practice community on Vancouver Island.
These talks are free, and they'll stay that way. Keeping them coming takes recording gear, hosting and time. If they're part of your practice and you'd like to help, come join us on Red Mountain Way on Patreon, where members hear each talk first and get additional teachings and reflections. I'd love to have you there.
Another meaningful way to support is simply sharing — passing an episode to someone who needs it.
For those seeking one-to-one Zen support, information about my Zen Mentorship work is available through Monarch Trancework.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for practicing.
